“New Year, New You”: The cliché captures the hope and futility of our annual personal metamorphosis. January 1 seems like a good day for a fresh start, a reboot, and a final rejection of past mistakes. However, if any of that succeeded, fewer people would start over each year.
New Year's resolutions to get fit, organize the to-do list, save money, be less grumpy with the kids, etc. are common. Lack of self-discipline or a better strategy for creating healthy habits rarely prevents us from doing those things. Trying to “become unrecognizable,” as modern self-help says, often gets in the way of a happier, more fulfilling life.
It goes like this. You decide to start exercising because you think it will benefit you. Buy the shoes, download the app to track your progress, and watch YouTube instructions. You might even finish your first few workouts.
Then something goes awry. Perhaps the thought of doing the same good deeds every day for the rest of your life seems oppressive. Or maybe a daily run seems too time-consuming, so you decide to wait a few weeks until other responsibilities are over so you can focus on it.
Your objective, like starting a business, may terrify you, so you transform it into a "long-term project" with lots of research to postpone starting. Regardless of your New Year's resolve, making a life-changing shift is difficult. It would have been quicker to run once or create a one-page website advertising your services than to change yourself.
An appealing "New You" doesn't require more exercise, money, or other changes. Security and control over life are what matter. With a new year, we want to feel in control of our health, finances, personality, etc. As Arnold Bennett famously wrote, we want to stop feeling that “the years slip by, and slip by, and slip by, and that [we] have not yet been able to get [our] lives into proper working order.”
Buying equipment, attending tutorials, or writing down schedules in notebooks all fuel the feeling that control is just around the corner. However, changing your life now entails giving up control. It requires 20 minutes of exercise today, even if you don't have the best running shoes, with no guarantee that you'll enjoy it or make it a habit. Perhaps you'll never do it again. Who knows?
Change also requires starting new projects without much confidence. We envisage ourselves as the captain of a superyacht, calmly putting our future destination into the ship's navigational systems and then confidently watching our ideas come true.
However, existence as a finite human is better viewed as paddling a personal kayak down an unpredictable river. We don't know when tranquil, difficult, or terrible seasons may come. Everything depends on our ability to navigate from moment to moment, make the best decisions we can, and not get discouraged when our path doesn't go as planned. Only your current action matters in this case.
How will you change your life in the new year? Discuss below.
Under scrutiny, “New Year, New You” collapses. Nobody could engineer a New You except Old You, with all his or her existing issues. Like Baron Munchausen in German fairy tales, who pulled himself out of a marsh by pulling on his hair, we try to forget our past identities.
Freedom comes from embracing who we are and starting from there, not trying to be someone else. Perhaps you'll never be free from your procrastination, short temper, or penchant for foods you should avoid, according to psychologist Bruce Tift.
Instead of “becoming unrecognizable,” the New Year should focus on “novel doability.” This involves having the fortitude to start new routines “dailyish,” as meditation podcaster Dan Harris puts it, without being so committed that a few missed sessions throw you off track. It also implies enjoying a simple aim. If you want to wake up at 5 a.m. every day but struggle to get up, set a goal of 7 a.m. and enjoy every day you meet or exceed it.
Novel doability also requires prioritizing a few goals. Decluttering or learning a new language may not be the best way to start 2025 if you want to get fit. It also implies asking what you'd enjoy doing differently in life, not just how you should change.
Above all, meaningful change involves realizing that actual security and control—the illusion of being in charge forever—were never possible. The limitless supply of to-dos means there is always too much to do. Because the future is uncertain, you'll never be sure of your health or anything else.
So, every day, do your best. It's the best you can do.
